so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
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I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
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I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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