Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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