Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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