ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize