batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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