I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize