Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize