shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
