So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize