Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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