This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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