apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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