I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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