Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
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His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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