wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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