If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
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