He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize