ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think your dad took our porno
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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