Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
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I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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