Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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