All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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