Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize