In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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