i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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