it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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