I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize