His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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