evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
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