i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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