I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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