I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
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How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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