Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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