So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
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I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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