she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize