i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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