I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize