note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize