Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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