I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize