Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think I died a long time ago.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
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Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
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I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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