so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
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You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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