Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
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There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
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He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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