If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Life is so much better after having sex.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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