she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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