My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
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I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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