Three words: puerto rican gang bang
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Text me some of your sweat
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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