i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
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I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
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Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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