It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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