He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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