38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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