scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize